Pathfinder Broads Cruise

Party Boat Japonica

By Max McLiesh of Japonica 5

When I found out that Joe Flach was going to be our skipper on Japonica 5 for the day, it was obvious that it was going to be eventful. Self-christened as 'The Party Boat', we felt pre-drinks were necessary. So we put the kettle on, making sure we brought the 'tea' to party.

We headed out confidently onto the Norfolk 'B' roads, ready to party at 10 o'clock in the morning. Of course, banging tunes were necessary, with our vessel rocking the latest high-tech speakers, namely an upturned saucepan, providing plenty of buttery biscuit bass. I think it is fair to say we were a major hit with the passing cruisers, demonstrating our inventive style of dancing, including our favourite moves; 'chopping the potato', 'dealing out the potato' and 'washing up the potato'. Being the dedicated sailors we were, we thought why not put the sails up, and continued to play hard to get with the banks. However, Isaac's plan to 'kiss' the reeds did not always work out, with some inappropriately long public displays of affection between the bow and the banks.

As we sailed down the river, modelling our Lathams Value shades with style, we were rudely attacked by a raid of water bombs. Knowing that dedicated sailors would try to manoeuvre their way out of the situation, we instead stuck on the motor. All the other boats we passed must have been intimidated by Matt's presence as the Boat Bouncer, because we were undisturbed for the rest of our morning, Mooring up for lunch, naturally fashionably late.