Alternative Sailing Terms
By Greg Melia of Eternal Hope
- Burgee - A small bird, used by pirates who can't afford parrots
- Transom - Money paid to get Trogs out of trouble with aforementioned pirates
- Swigging - Preferred drinking method of said pirates (see also 'Port')
- Warps - The minds who wrote this
- Luff - Love with a lisp
- Leech - A sucker for blood
- Tack - As in 'A-Tack of the Leeches'
- Clew - What your skipper wishes you thought he had
- Port - An Alcoholic drink
- Starboard - Being bored in astronomy class
- Bow - Do this when the commodore walks past
- Stern - What he'll be if you don't
- Forepeak - A quartet of nosy trogs
- Cockpit - A hole containing male hens
- Gaff - A mistake, such as letting the . . .
- Mainsail - Down on someone's head
- Boom - See Above
- Topping Lift - When you don't want the ham on your pizza
- Mainsheet - Sleeping device used by someone who forgot their main sleeping bag. See also 'Gaff'
- Hove To - The sequel to the popular film 'Hove'