Realisations of a First-Year J.O.
By Emily Carter
1) Some trogs just cannot be convinced to wear sun-cream. I quote: “Are you wearing enough sun-cream?” And the response is: “I put some on last summer - is that enough?”
2) It is possible to sink a half-decker. .
3) Even when said half-decker had Captain Jeremy on board.
4) It is possible to backflip off the back of Lapwing.
5) Three pairs of jeans is the optimum number. Two for aforementioned sinking and swimming activities, and the final pair for everything else.
6) Wellies will sink when full of water.
7) Always do up all seals on phone dry bags - you never know when some air to water acrobatics may be taking place.
8) The best way to wake sleepy trogs in the morning is a damp tea towel to the face.
9) Do not feed trogs strudel before bedtime - the giggling will be unstoppable.
10) When you catch a trog holding a sharp knife, saying “I’ve got a knife” whilst smiling to herself, you know it’s time to take the knife away.
11) Trogs will always be there to offer condolences after falling in. I quote: “At least you don’t have a dead fish in your hair.”.